ACHTUNG! During our extensive and highly scientific laboratory testing, the following side effects were observed with some users of our products:
- Feeling of excitement, joy and euphoria, uncontrollable senseless smiling
- Severe or chronic addiction
Furthermore, usage of our product is likely to provoke severe moral suffering, microagressions[*] trauma, and triggering[**] in all nearby professional anti-gun politician subjects. Such effects can be observed within distances of up to 200 km from the point of usage, and can lead to complete loss of rational reasoning capacity of the subject, often manifested by duckspeak syndrome in “green” party elects. Howbeit, pretty much any manifestation of reality can provoke similar effects in those people. Consequently, we do not feel sorry for them at all.
[*] “Micro”? No idea what that means. If aggression has to happen, might as well go full berserk from the onset, saves time later.
[**] Again, no idea. But the term itself sounds über-cool.